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This past year I taught a workshop on “Dying to Self.” Sounds like a fun topic, doesn’t it? Well, if you ever want to learn about something, sign up to teach it. Even after my last workshop and putting my notes away, this subject continues following me around, and I find there’s still so much about it for me to learn. A week or so ago a friend mentioned something, getting me thinking about this topic once again. But before we get into that…

Dying to self basically comes down to fully surrendering our lives to God. We allow His Spirit and the righteousness we have through Christ to rule in our lives. If it isn’t Jesus or Christ-centered, it doesn’t get to call the shots anymore. That means my feelings no longer get to be in charge, among other things. (Feelings definitely have a place in our lives, but ruling unchecked isn’t it.)

I probably don’t have to tell you, but the part of us that was in control before we came to Christ (our mind, will, and emotions) isn’t going to want to give up the throne that easily even after we’ve become a Christian. We have to choose daily who or what we give “voice” to. Somedays that can be more challenging than others.

A few questions we can ask ourselves to help clarify who or what is “ruling”:

What’s motivating me or prompting my actions?

What/who is setting my priorities, goals, standards, and expectations?

Where is my worth or value found and what determines it?

What perspective is fueling my responses?

What determines my views, attitudes, beliefs, and decisions?

After considering these questions, did you find God (and His Word) sitting on the throne of your heart? Or is He having to share the throne? Maybe He hasn’t been allowed to sit there yet.

After focusing on this topic for close to a year now, I’m getting to a point where I’m relieved when God reveals areas that aren’t dead yet but need to be. An easy way to spot things that should go is by examining our responses. How do you react to situations that you encounter unexpectedly? What is your response to people when they don’t treat you the way you want them to? I have to laugh a little because God has shown me numerous things that need to die within myself just through those two things.

I’m not going to lie - dying to self can be hard, maybe even painful in some ways. Apparently, self doesn’t want to die or give up control. Ha! BUT, what we often don’t understand right away is that it’s MORE DIFFICULT if we don’t deny self. The more I understand this concept, the more I welcome God exposing my “undesirables.” Now back to my friend…

She messaged me, concerning this topic. She said she understood the “how to,” but God recently had been showing her WHY she’d want to die to self. So about that…

Sometimes when we talk about dying to self, deep down there’s a belief that the part we have to give up is what makes us special, unique, strong, exciting, independent, or fun. There’s a fear that we’re going to have to let go of something we don’t want to. Now depending on what you’re doing to have fun or stand out, yes, you may have to make some adjustments. But so many things that God wants us to release, change, or kill are things that are destroying us in one way or another.

The part that God is calling us to deny is the part that is prideful, insecure, self-focused, easily angered, embittered, and unforgiving. It damages our relationships, kills our joy, robs us of peace, and hinders the release of pain. It’s the part that grasps on to fear, worry, greed, lust, shame, or a victim mentality. It keeps us in bondage. It makes us dependent on situations and people for our worth and security instead of the Lord. It slows us from stepping out in the Lord and going on adventures with Him. It’s the part that stands in opposition to Jesus and God’s Truth. It keeps replaying past sins in our minds over and over. These are just a few examples. If we take a moment to think about any one of them, we can see how these different things or aspects of self can become “lord” of our lives, dictating our thoughts and actions.

Did anything on that list grab your attention and sound familiar to you? Now take another moment to consider: Can you imagine what your life would look like if _____ was no longer an issue?

I believe that’s what God was speaking to my friend that day - He was showing her the importance of dying to self to motivate her to pursue it whole-heartedly. Might we be like her, seeing the value of taking hold of Jesus with both hands and letting go of self.

“Since you have heard about Jesus and learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God - truly righteous and holy.” (Ephesians 4:21-24, NLT).